So I can do the Math on the increase of my children. Sometimes I look at them and wonder how it all happened. The math is the easy part. The hard part comes now I have four children to juggle, each with different needs and personalities; strengths and weaknesses; likes and dislikes.
I strive to raise my children together as a team but treat them all individually. I don’t parent each one the same but I love them equally.
Why it’s not the same but still fair
A word: Trust. My children trust me. They really do and this scares me. They know I strive to treat them fairly as individuals, so even when it’s not the same, they can accept that (even when sometimes they don’t like it).
A saying: It all comes out in the wash. It means, although something is not fair at the time, it works out to be fair in the end. I believe this works where there is trust.
Examples
Presents:I don’t always spend exactly the same amount of money on each child, although I do give the same amount of presents. This is especially true while the children are young and have little concept of monetary value (a lovely state to be in).
Clothes: Sometimes one child will need new clothes and the others don’t. I don’t buy them all something just for the sake of being equal. Soon it will be their turn to have new things too.
Expectations: My eldest daughter is messy, creative and disorganised. My second daughter is organised, driven and emotional. I allow for them to be who they are so this means adjusting my parenting expectations accordingly. I don’t expect my messy-creative-disorganised daughter to have her room in the same state as my organised-driven-emotional daughter.
Television:I remember saying to Mum one day of my younger sister, “We never watched that movie at her age!” Ah, now it’s coming back to visit me. My youngest child has watched things on television earlier than my oldest child. I have to be careful of this sometimes. On the other side of the fence, my eldest child enjoys extra privileges due to her responsibility and age.
Photographs:I have photos of my first baby at every stage of development. Over the course of every subsequent child, although there are many photos, they aren’t documented so well. That’s life.
When all is stripped down to the basics, I don’t treat the children the same but I absolutely love each one equally, for who they are, with all my heart.
My children …all different …all precious.
Other Be A Fun Mum Links
Choose Which Hill to Die On: The Terrible Twos
Little Billies, Toast and the Terrible Twos
External Link
Childishness or Foolishness
Childishness or foolishness?
There’s a vast difference between the two; however, finding the line can be difficult. Childishness can be defined as actions or behaviour befitting a child. Rather, foolishness pertains to the lacking in judgment or discretion. In terms of applying this to parenting, punishing childish behaviour can be damaging to a child’s emotional and developmental wellbeing (1). On the other hand, concentrating on enabling a child’s ability to make good choices is a skill that’s imperative throughout life (2).
My Examples/My Understanding
Childish: I’ve had a busy day and my poor children have been dragged along with it. In this case, I have to lower my expectations; so then, if my children’s behaviour is appalling, who’s fault is that? Mostly mine. So I have to bear the brunt of it.
Foolish: My son (3) knows how to annoy his sister. Sometimes he hits her, not in anger but because he knows he can get a reaction out of her. I get the power thing, but the attitude of subjecting someone to suffering for a temporal feeling of gain is not a habitual attitude I want to foster.
Childish: I meet a friend in the shop with my 2-year-old. My 2-year-old has never seen this person before and my friend leans down close and says, “Hello!” My child goes “eh” and turns his head into my shoulder. This is perfectly normal behaviour for a child. I don’t expect my toddler to embrace someone new right away.
Foolish: I expect my 9-year-old to be polite, even if she feels shy. Saying “Hello” when greeted is within her capabilities. If then, she has a bad attitude and just decides to be rude, well, that is something I would address with her.
When it can be tricky
When I read the post 10 Things I won’t Discipline, I was reminded to carefully choose what behaviour to discipline. The author, Zoey, has thought about what she believes to be childish behaviour and therefore doesn’t discipline. I’m not entirely into writing lists because what is important for one can differ from another, and not necessarly are either right or wrong. However, I get the message behind the post: don’t punish natural childish behaviour.
Childish: Zoey left a permanent marker within her child’s grasp, and of course her 2-year-old found it and I’m sure, had a lovely time drawing on the walls. You see, that is childish behaviour. Of course a 2-year-old is going to experiment with an available pen.
Foolish:I’m not speaking for Zoey here, rather I’m writing about my own experience on the situation. This EXACT scenario has happened many times with my own children due to pens being left out. If my child hasn’t done this before, I explain that walls, unless it’s a special wall, are not for drawing. Here is where foolish behaviour can come in. If then, my child, who I know understands my expectations (and I’m careful about this; true understanding can take some time), deliberately disobeys me, this, in my opinion, can be seen as foolish behaviour, if repeated over and over again.
Why is it tricky? I find it difficult to decide which battles to choose and the balance between having a functioning house (and a sane mother), yet a nurturing one.
Choose the Hill
Obviously, expectations differ according to the age of a child and family situation. With a toddler, this is when “Choose which hill to die on” comes in. (Intrigued to know what means? You’ll have to read the post.) So, if enforcing “no drawing” on the wall is not where you are at, just keep pens away from busy hands, and if you forget, do what Zoey does and suck it up.
This is a expert from my post Little Billies, Toast and the Terrible Twos:
“Your child hasn’t moved on from a sippy-cup like other children? Your child is taking a l–o–n–g time to get the sharing concept? A wise parent is guided by others, but filters everything in regards to how it fits in with their own family values. Stick to your plan and be guided by how your child is doing rather than what other children are doing. Remember you, and your child, can’t master everything at once.”
Choose your battles carefully is my point, and this will differ with every family.
Finding the line
How to find the balance? I like to look at it like this: much of childish behaviour comes down to actions rather than attitude; much of foolish behaviour comes down to attitude rather than actions.
If the actions are powered by a foolish attitude, I work on it. If the action is just that — a childish action, I think of it as childish behaviour. (I own that attitude can be childish at times too; I’m speaking generally here.)
I found this helpful list from GrowingKids.org:
* Don’t assume your child knows rules. Explain things to your child as age appropriate.
* Don’t assume your child will realize that if something is wrong, similar things are also wrong.
* Be sure your child understands what you are telling him.
* Be sure you tell your child not only what not to do, but what to do.
* Observe your child for a moment before assuming he is being disobedient.
Personality factor
I do wonder how four extremely different people could come from just two but it’s true: all my children are different. In my post Personality: Heads and Tails, I discuss the negative and positive side to personalities. This also can be applied when deciding what is expected from each child (if you have more than one). For example, my eldest daughter is naturally disorganised, yet creative, and so I accommodate for this as much as I can. I don’t expect her room to be tidy all the time. In contrast, my number two daughter loves to be organised and her room is often tidy. I don’t think it’s fair to hold my eldest daughter to my second daughter’s expectations. They are different and have different strengths and weaknesses.
Expect to be judged
Alas, sad but true. Can I tell you a story? When I was young, I lived in a remote village in Papua New Guinea for some years. Meat was rare, so my Mother taught me to spread peanut butter thick on bread as one of the many measures she took to ensure I was cared for nutritionally. Soon after our return to Australia, our family went visiting and for lunch, we made our own sandwiches. The lady was horrified at how much peanut butter I put on my bread and told my Mother so, implying that I was greedy. I’m sure my Mother felt terrible but she wasn’t angry with me. She just explained that I had done nothing wrong, but need to respect the rules of the respective house. You know, I still spread peanut butter thick; to me it is just the way it’s meant to be.
In my own experiences as a mother, I too have been judged many times for my actions. If I use the example of drawing on the walls, some may dissaprove of the expectations I have for my 2-year-old and the lack of a 100% child proof house. In my case, I’ve lived in rental properties for 10 years now, moving every year or so and I’ve had 4 children under six years and so to me, it’s important to teach my children not to draw on the walls from a young age. The reasons? Firstly, the house we live in is not our own. Secondly, although I do teach my older children to put pens away, it’s impossible for me to stay sane if I was to run around and pick up every pen that was left out. I’m going for sane here.
If parents could support each other without judging each other, it would be a very wonderful thing. Be discerning: yes; judgemental: no.
Expect to be wrong
If you are anything like me, you are going to get the balance wrong — a lot. I’ve learnt to constantly eat humble pie, say sorry to my children and pray. I don’t know anyone who gets it right all the time so you’ll be in good company.
Is it working?
My daughter (9) spontaneously came to me this afternoon while I was typing away, sat on my lap and said, “Mum, can I just sit with you for a little bit because I feel like I haven’t been really respectful of you lately. I love you so much.” Bless! What a joy. Through all my mistakes, I must be doing something right.
There is so much to take in account when parenting, that’s why it’s SO HARD!
Is your child’s behaviour childish or foolish? Take a moment to decide and eat humble pie if you’re wrong.
References
1. Campbell, R. 2003, How to Really Love Your Child, Tyndale House Publishers, Wheaton, IL. p.38.
2. Fisher, R. 2005, Teaching Children to Think, Nelson Thornes Ltd, Cheltenham, UK.
Other Be A Fun Mum Links
Choose Which Hill to Die On: The Terrible Twos
Little Billies, Toast and the Terrible Twos
External Links
SuperParents: 10 Things I won’t Discipline
My daughter is nine. For her birthday, I reluctantly purchased a Nintendo DS Lite. Our pediatrician suggested one could be a useful tool, in regulated doses, to assist with concentration and anxiety (my daughter has some special needs). I wouldn’t call myself anti video games; like most things, they can be a useful tool or a destructive object, depending on how it’s used (for example, television and food can be easily misused too). That said, I’m not a fan of video games. One of the main reasons for this is I was never into them — even as a child. To me, there always seemed to be so many other fun and creative things to do. Never-less, I’m not one to rule something out just because I don’t like it so I took a shaky step in bringing a video game into the house. {Now I really AM sounding pathetic, I know.} Moving along…
My daughter and I had a chat about setting limits on her Nintendo DS use and I left it with her, thinking to myself, that I would re-address the issue again soon. This day, I went to straighten her room and stuck on her wall was this note.
I was astonished. And I was proud. Without prompting, she drew up clear and realistic limits on her Nintendo DS use. This shows me that she is learning to self-regulate herself which is a huge achievement. I believe it’s crucial as a parent, to slowly make the transition from soley making decisions for the child to gradually handing the reigns over until the child reaches adulthood and pray they will make the right choices. It’s a scary thing. This is how I see the timeline work.
* I believe allowing your child to have a voice is a key element in this process
While it’s exciting to watch my daughter mature, it’s also a frightening thing for me: to let go of the reigns. Personally, I would like to keep a tight hold until, well, she is at least — 30. That’s reasonable, right? However, parents don’t own their children; parents are blessed with their children, on loan — for a little while.
Happy Birthday my beautiful, precious girl. I’m proud of you.
Journal articles about video games and children
Do FPS computer games enhance the player’s cognitive abilities?
Educational Benefits of Video Games
Pediatric Preoperative Anxiety
Be A Fun Mum Links
Choose Which Hill to Die On: The Terrible Twos
Christmas is Coming
I’m in danger of appearing fastidiously organised but it’s true: I’m thinking about Christmas. Many of my precious childhood memories are bound up with the magic of Christmas: the lights; the music; the joy; the tree; the decorations; the presents; the nativity story; family; friends; the pure excitement of Christmas Morn. No “Bah Humbug” here; I love Christmas.
I’m blessed to be part of a large family. Now, when I say large, I mean really BIG. When I count, just family, I have 40 presents to buy so if I’m not somewhat organised, well, I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. {Hint: Kelly running around with a fist full of hair.}
Below are six of my Christmas-thinkings.
1. Christmas Presents Box
I have a present box at the end of my bed (or as Tina writes, keep a gift closet – which sounds much more romantic). During the respective year, I buy presents, mostly on a drastic special, and place them in the box. I don’t necessarily know who each present is for, I have a vauge idea of what gifts I’m looking for. Close to Christmas I go through the gifts and find that my shopping is almost done.
My Present Box
2. Christmas Cards
I’ve given up on traditional Christmas cards in favour of personalised photo cards. Monique from Your Cheeky Monkey writes about being on the lookout for the best Christmas photo of her boys so she is prepared early. I think this a great idea.
InkPink Designs did my gorgeous photo Christmas cards in 2009.
Christmas Card Ideas: Made by Meeya & InkPink Designs
3. A Special Outfit
The festive season is party season, from playgroup break-ups to work functions. If you are looking for an outfit, think causal elegance so you have the best of both worlds: a little bit of glamour plus a lot of comfort. Here’s some ideas:
Sara Ruffle Dress $69.95 Emerge Ruffle Dress $79.95 Capture Shift Dress $59.95
Watch my Elegant Christmas Hair-do video tutorial
4. Craft
Do you need ideas for your Playgroup, Mother’s group or Sunday School? Below are some of my Christmas Crafts. My favourite is the Christmas Wreath Tree Decoration craft. This would be a fun gift pack to make up for nieces and nephews too.
Christmas Wreath Tree Decoration
5. Santa Claus
Our family doesn’t focus on Santa at Christmas-time and the children don’t receive presents ‘From Santa’. Firstly, when my children were very young, they were afraid of him, and fair enough I say; what could be worse than being handed over to a strange man with a long white beard for a photo? Secondly, Santa Claus is not the main reason for Christmas, and so I strive for balance on this issue. I’m certainly not taboo Santa: Santa can be fun in moderation, and my husband has been known to dress up for the children; however, our family focuses on the Birth of Jesus and the spirit of giving.
I’d be interested in reader’s opinion about ‘believing in Santa Claus’. My children don’t ’believe’ in Santa; however, I respect other families decision to play the game and I teach my children to be considerate and not to spoil the surprise for them. Colin from SuperParents has a clever solution to this predicament in the Santa Claus Club.
My husband playing Santa, minus the beard
6. Life-Changing Gift
There are opportunities to purchase a life-changing gift for those living in extreme poverty instead of buying a present. For more information visit Gift Opportunity. I love this way of giving.
Do you have any Christmas-thinkings? Tell me! Or maybe don’t or I might just get carried away.
Not into Christmas? I appreciated these posts:
Not into Santa? Read these posts:
Christmas Ideas
Nicole’s Column: Social Stories
Foreword by Kelly
Much of parenting consists of trial and error, finding a combination of strategies that work for every child individually. Nicole shares a concept I know I will use, especially with my children with special needs. Training becomes a activity the entire family can enjoy. How brilliant is that?! Read on, read on.
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The benefits of reading to children are well documented – improved literacy skills, reinforcement of routine, and bonding time with Mum or Dad. Did you know that reading to your child can also help to reduce anxiety levels, cope with change, and interact better with other kids?
Social stories are stories written specifically for your child to help them through a challenging situation or to correct undesirable behaviours.
Here’s an example:
Five-year-old Bill is scared of the neighbour’s dog. Every time he and his mum walk past the neighbour’s front fence, the dog barks loudly and gives Bill a huge fright. Every time this happens, he cries, and he now gets anxious whenever his mum suggests they go for a walk to the corner shop, which takes them past the neighbour’s house and the big, scary dog.
Bill’s mum could write a Social Story to help better prepare Bill for this situation. She would read the story before they take their walk.
Bill and Mum need to walk to the shops to buy some milk.
They grab their shoes and hats, and walk out the door.
Bill holds Mum’s hand because he knows she will keep him safe.
On the way to the shops, Bill sometimes sees Mr Brown’s cat sunning himself on the driveway.
Mrs White’s budgie is usually on the verandah and George’s dog next door waits by the fence.
George’s dog is big, but can’t hurt anyone because the gate is shut.
George’s dog barks loudly every time he sees Bill because he is excited. This is how George’s dog says Hello.
Bill keeps hold of Mum’s hand and they walk safely together to the shops.
Bill enjoys walking with Mum.
The aim of this story is to prepare Bill for the walk past the dog he is fearful of. By mentioning the things he enjoys seeing along the way, and the fact that when he holds mum’s hand he is safe, Bill should feel less anxious about the situation.
Why do Social Stories work?
Kids respond well to stories, particularly when they are about them and told in the sing song voice with lots of expression we tend to use when telling stories. By using your child’s name and a situation they’re familiar with, you usually have their attention straight away.
Here’s an example of a Social Story that may be used to correct an undesirable behaviour:
Eight-year-old Daisy is quite shy and has developed the habit of poking her tongue out at people when initially introduced to them. Her mum is really embarrassed and has asked Daisy to stop doing this, but the behaviour continues. Daisy’s mum could try reading her a Social Story each night.
Daisy has made lots of new friends this year. She is often invited to go to their birthday parties.
Daisy is always so excited about these parties and plans what dress she will wear, days beforehand.
On the day of the party, Daisy always looks beautiful and she wears a big smile on her face when she first walks through the door to her friend’s home.
Daisy is usually greeted by her friend’s mum or dad. Daisy keeps smiling and when greeted, says “Hello!” Everyone smiles and Daisy is invited inside. Parties are always fun!
The aim of this type of Social Story is to show Daisy the correct behaviour. When the story is repeated, there is more opportunity for the child to learn and remember the desired behaviour.
Social stories can be written by any family member or carer, for any age child for a range of situations. Older children can be asked to contribute to the story or even write it themselves. The story can also be written as a cartoon, with pictures drawn to reinforce the theme. The sky is really the limit.
Have you tried Social Stories with your children? Why, and what was the result?
For more information, refer to these links:
http://www.polyxo.com/socialstories/
http://www.thegraycenter.org/social-stories/what-are-social-stories
Nicole is a privately practicing Occupational Therapist (OT) in Brisbane, Queensland. She is mother to 2 beautiful girls aged two and one. More information about Nicole can be found here:
www.nicolegrant.net
www.brissieot.blogspot.com
Other Posts written by Nicole
Relevant Be A Fun Mum posts
Little Billies, Toast and The Terrible Twos
My son LOVES his Little Billies rocket reward chart. Works a treat!
I wish I’d thought of doing it before: a reward chart for toddlers. I’ve done the terrible twos 4 times now but this is the first time I’ve used a reward chart for this age group and it’s been a helpful addition to training my toddler.
If you would like to read one of my morning battles with my two-year-old son, follow the link to this post: Choose Which Hill to Die On: The Terrible Twos. The post details a typical morning at my place and demonstrates how a piece of toast — toast, can turn into an hour battle.
In addition to other training methods, I’ve been using a Little Billies Toddler Range chart with my son. Little Billies products gives a head start to parents by providing prompts in what behaviours and skills to expect from a toddler (there is a range designed for school aged children too). The behaviour categories make sense, the bright personalised designs keep toddlers entertained and the simple graphics are engaging and fun. Most importantly, the Little Billies reward charts work sucessfully in conjunction with your parenting style — and that’s what I love the most. Little Billies reward charts add value to parenting in a positive way.
This tool has assisted me in parenting, especially in the area of “Great Eating”. I’ve detailed below how I’ve used this product and general advice for training toddlers.
1. What do you expect? Before you tackle an issue, think about what you expect from your toddler. For example, “Great Eating” to me means sitting at the table until the meal is finished and then taking the dirty plate to the sink. For your family it might be eating with utensils and sitting still. Don’t try and tackle everything at once; choose one or two at a time and work from there. So when you say “Great Eating”, the toddler knows exactly what you expect. I took a moment to jot down some behaviours I’m working on with my two-year-old.
* Watch for a post to explain this one.
Parenting is so much easier when you have an idea of where you’re headed. If you would like some clarity on what you expect form your toddler, try filling out the Toddler Expectation Sheet like I have. {Click on the title to access the free PDF file}
2. Repetition. Use the same words consistently. After my son has completed the above, I say, “Great Eating. Well done. Great Eating.” And then again as he places the magnet on the chart. Use simple words — a lot.
3. Consistent. Consistency is vital to training success; however, I admit to failing in this area sometimes — but I try — and that counts. Keep working at it peoples. Keep trying. Don’t give up. It all counts.
4. Think sustainable. Sometimes parents try and tackle everything at once (I used to) and it’s just not sustainable. Completing the Toddler Expectation Sheet forces you to think sustainable. Build the foundations before you add the walls.
5. Don’t judge your child in relation to other children. Your child hasn’t moved on from a sippy-cup like other children? Your child is taking a l–o–n–g time to get the sharing concept? A wise parent is guided by others, but filters everything in regards to how it fits in with their own family values. Stick to your plan and be guided by how your child is doing rather than what other children are doing. Remember you, and your child, can’t master everything at once.
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I’m excited to say, with the help of our personalised Little Billies chart, my son has mastered the expectations on “Great Eating” and we can build on that.
See how Little Billies can assist you in parenting.
Follow Little Billies on Facebook and Twitter
Read other Little Billie reviews here.
Be A Fun Mum related links:
Instilling Fear
My attitude towards fear? I force myself to face it. If I’m fearful, I throw myself in the path of that fear so I’m compelled to conquer it. My attitude towards fear is definitely the “get back on the horse” approach. My faith in God and love of a challenge helps motivate me.
I love watching my children embrace new situations.
Here’s an example: Our best Family Zoo experience yet was at the Darling Downs Zoo situated 30 minutes from Toowoomba. I absolutely recommend it! The relaxed atmosphere and small crowd numbers meant a stress-free exploration day for the children. As a bonus, the children had the opportunity to hold a snake — for free (no hidden costs here) and I was proud how enthusiastic they were. This got me thinking about how sometimes, parents can impart their own fear onto their children, in essence hindering the opportunity a child has to explore the world around them.
I’ve probably done it myself in some areas; however, I try and keep my own fears apart from my children so I don’t influence them in a negative way. I don’t like snakes but I was willing to hold one. It did give me shivers though.
Dealing with fear is part of life, and my children do have fears. I just hope they’re natural fears, depending on the child’s nature, which could include snakes, and not fears I have instilled in them.
What do you think? Do you think fear can be instilled?
Some cute shots from the zoo. If you live in South East Queensland, make an effort to visit.
External Links
Childhood Fears: Supporting Your Child to Outgrow His Fear
SuperParents: Women of the 21st Century
Be A Fun Mum Links
I Have Three Crushes
No, I’m not talking about me. Although, David Tennant’s Scottish accent is pretty cute. Ahem, but seriously, I’m recalling a conversation I had with my then seven-year-old daughter. I remember it clearly because it was a triumph moment for me as a mother.
Flossie: Mum, I have three crushes.
Now, just imagine me. I’m driving the car. At these words, my immediate reaction was to — basically — FREAK OUT. I could almost see the words fly out of my mouth. “WHAT! You’re way to young for that. That’s absolutely ridiculous! Who are they? Where are they? Why are they? How are they?” {breathe}
And I’m so very proud to say I literally grabbed the words as they came out of my mouth and swallowed them hard. Instead I said — nonchalantly, like we were talking about the cows in the paddock. I tell you, it took a great deal of self-control.
Me: Yes darling? Is there something about these boys that are special.
Flossie: Yeah, they’re really nice and kind.
Me: They are lovely qualities in a person aren’t they?
Flossie: Yeah.
Me:You’re growing up Flossie. And it’s okay to notice boys and think they are nice. When I was a girl, a boy and I where chosen go to the office to do a job for a teacher. I thought this was pretty special. I love it how you’ve noticed one of the important qualities in a person: kindness.Thank you for telling me about it. {We talked a little more about the ins and outs of crushes.}
I was grateful she was willing to talk to me about it. I could have easily followed through on my first instinct, and potentially closed off the communication channel between us. As a parent, I’ve made many mistakes so, when I actually do it right, I triumph the moment; I celebrate it.
Have you had a parenting triumph moment?
Other Be A Fun Mum posts:
Dr Tired and Cranky
Did you know: I have a PhD on being tired and cranky. I’m not an expert and many things, but on being tired and cranky, I qualify for an award.
Gone for days without sleep? Yep done a field study on that.
Risen to feel like vomiting because of fatigue? Yep, experienced that.
Woken up with a splitting headache? Many times.
Three letters: PMT? Attend monthly meeting.
Struggle to make dinner for fear of falling asleep in the cooking pot? What’s that on my face?
Can’t put two words together? All. ____ . Time.
I’m tired and cranky — a lot — and sometimes, I wonder how I’m going to get through the day. Visions of skipping around with a child holding a balloon quickly dissipates after a few dodgy night’s sleep. Instead, I end up snapping at everyone and everything in my path. What I’ve found to be most helpful is to be brutally honest, with myself and my children. I’ve discovered my children to be truly compassionate and understanding.
Dr Tired and Cranky tips:
If you are short with your child, make sure they know you are not angry with them.
Be prepared to say sorry.
On really tired and cranky days, just do the basics around the house.
Have a pick-me-up. On a extra-tired day (okay, almost everyday) I stop at a drive-through Zarraffa’s for coffee.
Love the Moment especially on these days. Look for little things to enjoy: a sweet smile; a lone flower; a giggle; a touch.
Read books to your child/ren. When I’m so tired, I can hardly stand, I sit and read to my children for hours. It makes me wonder if being tired is actually a really good thing sometimes.
Always have a spare frozen meal. I admit to buying frozen lasagna for cranky days, but if you love cooking, make a meal every now and again to freeze.
If you can, have a nap. (Okay, okay — that was a silly suggestion).
Must. Sleep. Now.
Related Be A Fun Mum Links
Personality: Heads and Tails
I know my image above looks nothing like coins, but hey, I tried. I often use the double-sided-coin analogy to communicate personality traits to my children. You see, I love my children for their uniqueness, and seek to allow them to grow into all God wants them to be. I want them to understand the strengths and weaknesses of their personality and how they can shine. Every personality trait has a positive side (heads) and a negative side (tails).
For example, if you are an organised genius (great quality, ie. heads), you may also be a bit of a control freak (not so great quality, ie. tails). Or, if you are laid-back, easy-going person (great quality) you may be disorganised and messy (not so great quality). Personally, I’m passionate and driven (great quality) but this means I can also be forgetful of what’s going on around me, or thoughtless as my Mum used to say (not so great quality).
I was raised in this manner; that is, I was forced to acknowledge my faults along with celebrating my assets. In this process there was no attack to my person in any way; I always felt loved and incredibly special. It’s a beauitful thing when someone sees all the good in you and knows all the bad, and loves you regardless.
My children are incredibly special and I love them for who they are and all the positive I can see in them. It really makes me cry to think of it. I seek to help my children discover the strengths in their personality, and also the down side, so they can strive, with God’s strength, to allow the positive to outshine the negative.
Be A Fun Mum Related Links
You Are Sooooo Beautiful Book Review
External Links
