Ingredients of a Fun Mum
Being a Fun Mum is having the ability to use one’s imagination to think like a child. Read Be A Fun Mum: What it Means for a summary. Now what are the ingredients of a Fun Mum?
First you need a large serving, let’s say a dish, of Mary Poppins.
Mary Poppins = Firm yet fun. Organised yet spontaneous. Direct yet understanding. Imaginative yet realistic. Able to “Love the Moment” yet dream for the future.
Next you need to lace the mix with a dose of Pollyanna.
Pollyanna = A happy heart. Pollyanna’s “The Glad Game” aligns itself nicely to “Love the Moment”. Pollyanna’s “The Glad Game,” is an optimistic attitude she learned from her father. The idea is to find something to be glad about in every situation. One Christmas Pollyanna was hoping for doll in the missionary barrel and found a pair of crutches instead. Pollyanna’s father taught her to look for the good—in this case, to be glad about the crutches because “we don’t need ‘em!”
Now you can’t really be a Fun Mum unless you add a dash of Willy Wonka.
Willy Wonka = A little wacky. A little bit of mystery and a little bit of craziness goes a long way; a little bit — mind you — not too much.
Ingredients of a FunMum
Dish…
Firm yet fun. Organised yet spontaneous. Direct yet understanding. Imaginative yet realistic. Able to “Love the Moment” yet dream of the future.
Dose…
See the happiness in small moments
Dash…
Be crazy sometimes and laugh — a lot.
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Reading With Expression
Welcome Bug in a Book readers!
Reading with Expression (Children aged 0-6)
Reading with expression is a key to enjoyable read-aloud time with young children. Drawing from my experience as a children’s book consultant and reading to my own children, I’ve learnt how to get the most out of every picture book; to make it fun my children and myself.
When you choose a picture book, look out for these things:
Rhythm
Musical rhythm is ideal for reading with expression. Rhyming is one form of rhythm; however rhythm is not limited to rhyming text.
“But where is the green sheep?”
This line in, Where is the Green Sheep by Mem Fox, is a perfect example of a rhythmic line.
Other examples:
Dig, Dig, Digging by Margaret Mayo
Peepo! By Janet and Allan Alhberg
Repetition
Repetition. Repetition. Repetition. Young children love repetition. When it comes to reading with expression, repetitive lines are gold. It gives the reader an opportunity to develop a musical-like way of saying the repetitive line, over and over again.
Choose a book YOU like
Find a book you like as much as your child. In my recent interview with Australian Author, Alison Lester, she shared this advice: “Always read something you like. There’s nothing worse than wading through some boring rubbish trying to sound interested. Be honest with your kids and tell them if you think a book stinks.”
Books I love to read:
Down the Back of the Chair by Margaret Mayo
Oh! The Places You’ll Go by Dr Suess
Add exuberant expression and words as you read
Experiment with expression. This might be anything from hand gestures to verbal gasping; or put them together like this: Gasp! {Cupping hands over face.} What could happen next?
Reading with expression makes reading aloud-time fun for both the parent and child. Not only does child experience the wonder of a book in an animated way; but also, the reader has the opportunity to feel like a child – once again.
Be A Fun Mum Links
Interview with Australian Author Alison Lester
Books are NOT Just for Reading
Bloom Where You Are Planted
I’ve been thinking a lot of my Mum lately. I am in a constant state of missing since her death, but right now it really hurts.
“Bloom where you are planted,” she used to say. I recalled that today. It made me happy and sad at the same time.
Bloom Where You Are Planted
The message underneath the saying is this: whoever you are; whatever you are doing; whenever the time; wherever you are in the world; whoever you are talking to; in however life is at the time; be who God made you to be and shine like stars in the universe.
Who.What.When.Where.How
It’s easy to be in a state of waiting. I have to use my favourite section from Oh, the Places You’ll Go! by Dr Seuss here.
The Waiting Place…
…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
Mum taught me not to get stuck in the waiting place but to shine where I was; bloom where I was planted.
Sometimes the flowers are small but there is always opportunity to bloom.
Related Be A Fun Mum post:
Let Dad Have His Way
I’m from an all girl family and, pretty much, the only movie we watched while growing up was Seven Brides for Seven Brothers — true story. In fact, my sisters and I still giggle at the video attendance’s response to our 6 monthly visit to the store; it went like this: “Ahhh, you got this movie out 6 months ago and nothing in-between.” That was about right.
My husband, on the other hand, grew up on Star Wars, a movie I didn’t watch until I was eighteen or so when, my then boyfriend, decided to enlighten me to the wonders of the force. I didn’t get it — really. My husband is known to have entire conversations through Star Wars quotes — oh brother — it’s rather disturbing. Believe it or not, it’s become something I’ve grown to love my husband for and, dare I say it — I cringe as I write — I’ve actually been known to quote Star Wars myself. {gulp}
Last school holidays, my husband suggested watching A New Hope with our two older children. Well, I freaked out: WHAT! NO WAY! THEY ARE TOO YOUNG! They haven’t watched Seven Brides for Seven Brothers yet and, well, they are not eighteen!
My husband explained how he grew up on Star Wars and wanted to share it with his children, watching the movies in the order he did. I still wasn’t sure but sometimes, I need trust my husband and let Dad have his way.
So they watched the first episode of Star Wars (A New Hope PG) and I could see how much fun Blu had sharing the movie with his girls. It’s not something I would have chosen but I’m not the only one raising our children. It was a little hard for me but I was glad I Let Dad Have His Way.
Related Be A Fun Mum posts:
Not a Material Girl
I love pretty things. I like happy things. Pretty and happy things like this necklace from Diva ($19.95). It’s like wearing a little happiness around my neck. When I go in the sun, the light catches on the sequence and sprays like bursts of joy.
I like matching things. I like dots and and the colour red. I like tea and closing my eyes while holding the cup close to my lips. I like things that match; even Son matched today!
I’m not a material orientated person; I give anything and everything away. If someone likes one of my possessions, you will hear me say, “You have it! I’d love for you to have it!” But that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy beautiful things; quite the contrary: I love them. I take time to enjoy the little happiness afforded each day, so it’s easy to let material things go — because there is joy everywhere; you just have to look for it. For me, giving is one of the best joys of all.
Love the Moment
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17.
10 Mistakes
I was interested to read the recent post from Good Goog. Good Goog’s author, Zoey, quotes from an article on Lifescript titled, 10 Biggest Mistakes Parents Make. Here is the list I like to call the Guilt Trip List:
- Sharing a bed with baby.
- Putting your child to bed with milk or juice.
- Buying second-hand toys or baby furniture.
- Showing your child “smart baby” DVDs.
- Putting kids in the basket of a shopping cart.
- Sharing utensils with your child.
- Delaying or avoiding vaccines.
- Leaving your child alone in the car “just for a minute.”
- Skipping helmets on tricycle rides.
- Leaving your child alone in the bath or shower.
I’m giving myself an epic FAIL. Epic, epic FAIL. F-A-I-L. I’m not advocating irresponsible parenting but I think this list is, well — ridiculous. Sharing utensils?? Second hand toys??? Seriously??
I’ve been thinking about some mistakes parents make (and what I have learnt from my own mistakes).
This is the list I like to call the Heart Attitude List:
- Not taking time to listen to your child.
- Taking your anger out on a child.
- Judging your child on another person’s child or standard.
- Not allowing your child to be themselves.
- Forgetting a goodnight kiss and cuddle.
- Failing to invest in nurturing discipline.
- Missing the ‘love the moment’ moments.
- Failing to say sorry.
- Not saying “I love you” everyday — in fact several times a day.
- Pushing a child to pursue your unfulfilled dreams.
The Lifescript list has missed the mark, mostly because it has been attacked from above rather than dealing with the source. Like if you have an infected abscess; no matter how many band aids you but on, it’s not going to get better. It needs to be dealt with from below the surface. In the same way, if you create a Guilt Trip List for parents, mistakes can still fester. Rather, if parents set their own Heart Attutide List to encourage the nurturing of each child as an individual (for who God made them to be), it’s a given parents will take measures to keep their children safe. The Heart Attitude List deals with mistakes that can carry through a child’s life into adulthood; mistakes, if repeated over and over again, can create a myriad of scars that never really heal.
Be a parent who attacks mistakes of the heart, not the skin. Make yourself a Heart Attitude List not a Guilt Trip List.
Read my post on nurturing discipline.
Three Gates : Words of Wisdom
If you’ve read about me, you will know my Mother died, almost four years ago (she was only 51). Sometimes it feels like yesterday and sometimes it feels like forever ago. Just last night, right before I went to sleep, I felt a sudden pain in my chest and a familiar panic: Mum’s not here anymore; I won’t see her in this life again. It happens to me sometimes like that. Although, I always have this indescribable ache, sometimes the pain hits me like a tonne of bricks and it’s hard to breathe. When this happens, I think about some of the things my Mum taught me; she taught me to be careful with the words I spoke. I think this verse it the Bible sums up the damage words can do:
“It takes strong winds to move a large sailing ship, but the captain uses only a small rudder to make it go in any direction. Our tongues are small too, and yet they brag about big things. It takes only a spark to start a forest fire! The tongue is like a spark.” James 3: 4-6b.
My Mother taught me to be careful with what came out of my mouth by giving me strategies to put into practice (she was a proactive Mum). I don’t always get it right though; I’ve hurt others with my words many times, unintentionally or otherwise. As I seek to be a positive example for my children and in-turn, teach them to use self-control over their words, I am passing on my Mother’s wisdom. It goes like this:
The idea is to put your words through these three gates before you speak: Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true?
This gate can be tricky. You see, sometimes kindness is not always niceness. Kindness can mean these things: helpful, agreeable, merciful, considerate and compassionate. I think the word that represents this gate is — helpful. Are the words going to be helpful to the person hearing them? There are times when helpful words are hard to hear.
Necessity arises from an essential need. Does the person need to hear what you have to say? Is it essential?
Has the fact been verified? That is, not gossip or hearsay.
If the words don’t pass the three gate questions, then bite your lip hard and Hold it!
If the answers to the three gate questions are dubious, take time to think about what you want to say before you decide to Say it! or Hold it!
If your words pass all three questions, then feel free to Say it!
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I love picturing the three gates in my mind’s eye. This pictorial lesson of using self-control with what I say, has stayed with me — closely. I don’t use the Three Gates method all the time in everyday conversation, although it does sit at the back of my mind. If I have a tricky situation and am unsure whether to speak or not, I definitely use the Three Gates method — it has proved to be sound advice from Mother-mine. Remembering her advice helps me feel, for a moment, that she is still here with me.
Related Posts:
A House Divided – A State or Origin Story
The State of Origin really IS about the state of origin in our family. Both my husband and I are from Queensland and of course go for The Maroons — all the way. However, we did live in New South Wales for 5 years and our two eldest children were born there. I thought, naturally, the children would barrack for Queensland; through their heritage, they could be ‘saved’ from being cockroaches New South Welshman.
When my eldest daughter (Flossie) was four, she decided to cheer for New South Wales (The Blues) because she was born there and her little sister (Scottie) followed suit. Since then, they have always supported the dark sideThe Blues. Our youngest two children (Cossie and Son) were born in Queensland and thus, are Maroon supporters. So yes, our family is split.
You know what? It makes me happy that my children are strong and feel free to be who they are. We are a team, but we are also individuals. This is something I’ve strived for in our family: the freedom to be yourself and know you are loved. Flossie (now 8) said to me, “I know some people might tease me, but I don’t care, I’m sticking to it; I want to support The Blues.” And I say, “Good on you babe. Good for you.”
Being a house divided — has never been so much fun.
External Links:
Wees and Poos Instead of The Paper and News
Image from here.
I can’t remember the last time I watched the evening news. I love reading the paper, but I haven’t done that in a long time either. There’s a certain nicety about being ignorant of world events; however I don’t want my world to become so small, based around the poos and wees of my children (it can happen; I should know), that I lose touch with reality. Keeping up-to-date with current events is hard work for me.
“Isn’t it terrible about the earthquake in Chile?”
“What earthquake?”
Fortunately for me, my husband knows EVERYTHING and gives me a run down on events at days end. I also try and keep up-to-date myself online at ABC News (but Blogs are much more interesting).
Another mention on the lines of losing touch with reality, I’m careful to ‘be aware’ when I’m out with a group of women, where there are mothers and ladies who don’t have children, present. I’m conscious that, while I and other Mums can talk ‘wees and poos’ for an extended length of time, until you’re a Mum, it may not be all that interesting (goodness, what Motherhood does to conversation topics LOL). I choose to be sensitive and include others in conversation to make sure I don’t lose sight of ‘The World’; that is, each person’s world or the sister’s daughter’s friend’s neighbour’s aunty’s world or the great world at large or the whole wide world; just the world — alright?
At the end of the day, my family is my world and that’s a precious, precious thing. But not everyone’s world and I respect that.
After becoming a Mother, did you struggle to stay current with everyday news events? (Or is it just me?)
External Links:
Other Be A Fun Mum Links:
Light a Candle: Fight the Down Days
When the day is dark, and I feel cold or down, I light a candle in every room.
As the scent fills my house, I remember.
I remember to count my blessings
I remember to pray.
I remember to love the moment.
I remember.
When I pause to gaze at the flickering light, I remember.
I remember to count my blessings
I remember to pray.
I remember to love the moment.
I remember.
When I feel down and the day seems dark, I light a candle, and everything seems a little brighter.
Fight the down days: light a candle and remember.
