In my recent post, The Epic Job of Organising My Family, I talked about saying no to micro-managing.  The fact is, I quite like micro-managing.  It means I know where everything is, where everyone is at and I RULE MY WORLD AND EVERYONE ANSWERS TO ME! Ahem. No, I’m not a control freak.  Who wants to know?

Not wanting to micro-manage and not micro-managing are two different things. In the past, I used to micro-manage, a lot, and this is what happened: I became a huge nag, I got stressed about trying to manage absolutely everything and I used to take over if things were not done quick enough (or to my liking).  In my experience, micro-managing doesn’t work, well not for our family anyway.

For me, it’s been a process of letting go, and discovering that — surprise, surprise — everything doesn’t fall apart if I’m not on top of it.  True, family life does not fit as nicely in a box, but oh, it’s so liberating NOT having to control everything. And it’s exhilarating to see my children blossom, mature and grow, within boundaries, yes, but with freedom within the boundaries.

Below are some of the ways I say no to micro-managing in our home life.

1. Jobs vs Systems

I manage the house in a certain way because it suits me and my family.  I am conscious though, that my children are not me, and when they are adults, they may like to choose to do things differently.   With this in mind, I aim to teach my kids to think about systems rather than jobs because systems take in many factors including situation and personal preference.

Here’s an example: Our hired DVDs were getting lost with our regular DVD collection, and so I put it to the kids to think about a system to ensure this didn’t happen anymore.  My daughter decided to mark a plastic box movies and this has become the dedicated spot for DVDs to return to the video shop and books to the library. It works!

Another example is how I organise the plastic plates and cups. I keep them in plastic containers so it’s easy for the children to both unstack the dishwasher and get their own breakfast and drinks. You can read more about it here: Organised Chaos.

2.  Freedom within Boudaries

In a post I wrote for KleenexMums, I touched a little more on systems in terms of freedom within boundaries.

Children need boundaries to feel safe and secure. The tricky thing is to know where to put them. The idea of freedom within boundaries is to allow the child to work out their own system (and make mistakes!) within a certain framework. For example, I usually fold my children’s washing but I don’t put it away for them. Instead I say: “Here’s your clean washing. I’d like it put away by the end of the day please.” If they don’t, I tighten the boundaries until they can show me they can work within them and move the framework as they mature. More responsibility equals more freedom.

3. Responsibility

I want to give my children responsibility, and privileges to match, but in order for this to work, there needs to be some room for consequence for actions. Let’s take homework for example.  With my older children (10 and 8), I can’t stay on top of their homework or nag them to get it done.  I am happy to help, but not manage. In the case they don’t bring their homework back to school or it’s left uncompleted, they might be in trouble at school.  That’s sad for them but it’s a consequence for their action. Yes, I could totally micro-manage their homework and this may save them from getting into trouble but this won’t help them in the long term.

What I WOULD manage and act on, is if my kids didn’t care about being in trouble at school.  That is the issue I would focus on rather than managing homework for them.

4. Siblings

My kids are different and although I have general expectations for all my children, there are ways I like to parent individually too.  My eldest daughter is quite messy but she doesn’t hoard.  My second daughter is neat but likes to keep everything.   When it comes to their rooms, I expect different things of them. I don’t pressure my eldest daughter to be like her sister and vice versa.  I do expect my kids to clean their rooms but I allow for personality and this is reflected in my expectations.

5. Play

Educational games are wonderful but I truly believe children learn best when they are playing imaginative games with the space to create.  I help set up creative play opportunities, like this one, and then allow my children the space to play.  I also provide many opportunities for my children to play in wide open spaces.

6. Not taking over

I like things to be done quickly, and so it’s struggle, a choice, to wait when my children are struggling or take time doing a tasks, like getting their shoes on or opening a jar lid.  If help is needed I have learned to take the time to show them rather than do it for them.  The key is to allow (much more) time to do things.

7. Tough times

After the Queensland floods in 2011, family life was pretty tough for a while.  When things are a little shaky at home, I find it necessary for me say, “I am mum,” and call the shots until things settle again at home.  I think there are particular times when more control is necessary.

8. We are a team

I want our family to be a team, where two things happen: everyone takes a little responsibility for running the house and  individuals can contribute their own ideas to how we do things at home.  This is a work in progress.

I am the manager of home life but not the micro-manager.  Saying no to micro-managing is a choice for me, and I can say it’s a very good thing for our family life.

More Reading

KleenexMums: Are Mums Guilty of Over-Organising Their Kids?

I’ll say right up: this is quite a long post…because organising a family is a huge job.  I’m going to start at the beginning of last year.  You see, 2011 was the most disorganised year of our family life.  My entire year was thrown when I was caught in the Queensland Floods while trying to move from one flooded place to another. I had to rush the kids into school and never quite got it together after that; played catch up for the rest of the year.

I knew there had to be changes in the organisational department for 2012, so I thought long and hard about what systems I’ve used before, what works for our family of six, and what doesn’t.

In the past, I’ve tried many tools to organise family life with varying degrees of success; written diary, wall calendar, family calendar,  iPhone — oh and my memory — are some of the systems I’ve used. Yeah, the memory didn’t work out too well.   I’ve come to realise two things:

1. I can’t rely on just one method to organise my family, but need to use a combination of methods that work together.

2. I need a system that will work for ME…but one that the family can utilise and understand.

I asked this very question on the Be A Fun Mum facebook page and many of you use a combination of methods to organise your family too. Below is a graph of what systems are used most.

 Organising My Family

The biggest priority for me when organising my family is the ability to see ahead in the future, so I opted for a annual planner rather than a family wall calendar.  I also use my iPhone for my own schedule and to store details including addresses and phone numbers, and it’s easy to sinc this with my husband’s schedule.

The Wall Planner is next to the kitchen.

Key Colour Coding

The next issue was to find a way to put our family of six on the planner.  I use a colour coded system that would work for any written calendar or diary. I (or anyone else) can easily see what the children are doing each day, where the holidays are and the days my son is at Kindy. It’s all there in one glance.

This may seems like a lot of fuss, but once the majority of repetitive and fixed events are on the planner (which accounts for about 70% of our annual schedule), there’s not a lot left to do!

Tools:

Different colour permanent marker for each of the kids

Black permanent marker (for fixed events)

Whiteboard marker (for transient and tentative events)

Small dot stickers (different colours for other important events like when I work out of the home)

I use a designated colour for each child, and use letters in their colour to mark the days they have particular events at school, like L for Library Day. So on the day that both Cossie and Scotty have Library Day, there is a pink and green L on that day.  I also use their colour for events that are particular to them. For example, if Cossie has a birthday party on a Saturday, I will write that in pink on the annual planner, and then also write the details of where the party is on my iPhone.

I use a permanent marker for all the regular events like school holidays, birthdays and regular events, and a whiteboard marker that I can wipe off for transient or tentative events.

Morning To-Do Lists

For the first month of school, we use morning To-Do Lists for the kids. After about a month, the kids don’t need morning charts anymore. You can down this Morning Chart PDF here.

For my youngest daughter (6) with special needs, I insert clip art pictures into a document and print it out for her to use as a morning guide.

Saying No to Micro Managing

With my older children (8 and 10) the onus is on them to be organised for school, for example, remembering their books on library days and instruments for music days. I like to know what they are doing and am happy to be there to remind and encourage them. However, when it comes to going early for music or sport, my policy is if they want to be involved in those activities, they need to organise themselves.  I’m happy to support their endeavours, but I’ve learned I can’t micro manage everyone in our family. If I try, I become a massive control freak and basically go mental trying to remember everything.

I’ve also learned that my older kids are very capable of organising themselves. For my younger children (4 and 6) I still remind them of what they have on the next day.

My older girls each have their own wall calendar they use and remind me if they need to go to school early for an activity.

Our annual planner acts as a broad guide to our family life that I manage but everyone can refer to, and the iPhone stores particulars (like addresses and phone number) that I always carry with me.  This is the best system I’ve used yet for our family.

Have you found a system that works for your family?

Other Links

School Mornings: I Don’t Want to Be A Nag

Back to School Posts

I need to get around to doing my my tax (dreading it actually). I’ve invited Allan Mason from Broadview Accounting  to give me his top ten tax tips for 2011.

Guest post from Allan Mason

Top 10 tax tips for 2011

It is often said that there are two things that are certain in life – death and taxes. Early in my career I worked for the infamous Kerry Packer. His view was not to pay a cent more than you have too, as the government doesn’t spend it too wisely. In those days we spent a lot of money to save tax. So in Kerry’s eyes only one thing was certain and that is death.

My top 10 tax tips for 2011 are:

1. Keep your receipts and be organised. It your think something may be deductible, keep the receipt and check. Better still keep a diary and record your expenses and what your have been doing work wise.

2. Superannuation is one of the most tax effective vehicles. Consider setting up your own self managed fund and rolling over the balances from your other funds. Remember super funds can now borrow money to invest in real estate or shares.

3. If you have a rental property don’t forget that in many cases depreciation on the building can be claimed. This is often missed.

4. Pay deductible expenses as close to June 30 as possible to minimize the cash flow impact.

5. Be smart about how your investments are held. Maximise the use of the tax scales to ensure income is earned by the family member with the lowest income and losses flow to the family member with the highest income. Even better would be to use a family trust so that there is true asset protection and income sharing.

6. If you use your car for work, keep a log book AND keep all your expenses for the year. It will allow you the option of selecting the best method of claiming the cost of running your vehicle – rather than just the easiest method.

7. Keep track of your interest and provide tax file numbers to your bank so that you don’t have tax deducted until you lodge your tax return.

8. Superannuation provides great tax saving benefits. Salary sacrificing or contributing to your low income earning spouse’s fund can give great tax benefits.

9. Prepay a year in advance the interest on your investment property so that you can claim the deduction now. The same can apply to repairs.

10. Get good professional advice. If you pay a lot of tax, seek help. Accountants are professionals and it is there job to be worth more than they charge. Remember they do this every single day, whereas in your case, it is a once a year exercise and every year things change.

Allan Mason is the director of Broadview Accounting and author of three books; How to Choose an Accountant, Survival to Success and Business Bullseye, available at bookstores or online at

http://broadviewpublishing.com.au/

It’s Spring! I love Spring. I love how nature comes to life and fills the air with a sense of hope.  I’m totally late for this month’s Love the Moment Challenge (I’ll blame going to Thailand for that — so totally worth it)  but I would still like to capitalise on what’s left of this month to do some Spring cleaning.

Does Spring cleaning really fit into the Love the Moment series?  Well, yes, I think it does. There’s a buzz in the air as Spring opens its wings. More than ever, I’m noticing all the gorgeous things around me. What I want to do is set up things here in the home so we can enjoy even more lovely moments outside, without distraction.

Step One: De Clutter

I’m not a hoarder.  I like things simple and uncluttered. However, I find it really hard to keep things simple in the house full of 6 people. It’s nuts.  One of the best ways for me to unclutter is to buy a few packing boxes and have them set up. As I go through my washing, and general housework jobs, I put things we no longer use or need into the boxes to donate to a charity.  You can pick up packing boxes from many Real Estate Agents, packing companies and Officeworks.

{one of my declutter boxes}

For the next couple of days, as I walk around the house, I’m applying myself to get rid of things we don’t need.  Here’s my list:

• Sort through children’s clothes and shoes
• Get rid of single socks
• Sort through toys
• Sort through books
• Sort through husband and my clothes
• Sort through kitchen
• Sort DVDs
• Sort through linen cupboard
• Organise pantry

Links that may help

Organising DVDs

Picklebums: How many clothes do we need

Little Eco Footprings: Six Itmes or Less Challenge

Step Two: Clean

It’s ambitious to think I can have blocks of time to clean (I find it hard to get the housework done!) but I figure if I set myself a few tasks every day, I can get through them by the end of the day. That’s the plan.

• Wipe over desks and other surfaces with a cloth
• Vaccuum under couches and lift up cushions and clean
• Wipe inside bathroom cupboards
• Air quilts on the clothes line
• Wipe over bins, inside and out
• Wipe surface of kitchen cupboards
• Wipe over skirting boards
• Clean fridge

Links that may help

Housework Tips

Spring Cleaning Checklist

Step Three: Organise

I try and keep things organised in the home but sometimes I need to gives things an overhawl. Below is my plan: 

• Take a look at our family calendar
• Meal planning
• Re-organise kids room
• Go through office paperwork
• Memory boxes: I keep a large plastic box for each one of my children, myself and my husband. The idea is to keep special drawings, clothes and other bits and pieces I want to keep. So anything that is special, and I don’t want to donate to charity, I put in the respective memory boxes.

Links that may help

How to fold a plastic bag

Organising Children’s Toys

Facebook Update List

So basicially, I’ve given myslef 3 weeks to give the house an overhawl. I’ll be posting on my facebook page, what I’m tackling each day if you want to follow along. It seems like a lot to me, but I really don’t think it will take up too much time if I concentrate on what I need to get done everyday.

Spring Cleaning Printable Check list

If you want to following along with my Love the Moment Spring Clean, you can use this Spring Clean Check List if you like. Just click the picture for the PDF file.

{click the picture for the Spring Cleaning Check List}

Other Challenges

Love the Moment Challenges

I can find enjoyment out pretty much all forms of work. However, housework REALLY depresses me. And I know why. The reason I hate housework so much isn’t because of the work (although, cleaning hair out of the shower plug is the pits). No. The works isn’t the issue; it’s because I can’t get the job done because I’m constantly interrupted. I’m a very goal orientated person and I find not being able to finish a job really frustrating. Oh for an hour to run through the house and get everything done without having to stop, like a million times. It takes 3 times as long and when you get to the end, you’re back to the beginning anyway. You see? It seems so pointless!

I’ve adapted and accepted that, in this stage of parenting, I have to do housework in bits and pieces. Here are some tips I’ve developed over the years to help me manage the never ending, and never quite complete job of housekeeping.

1. Accept

Like in many areas of my life, once I accept the situation I’m in, I find ways to work with what I have rather than fighting it. Before I accepted the reality, I worried that I was a really lazy person and terrible housewife because I struggled to get the housework done. I judged myself on how other people keep their homes and just felt down because I could never get it all done in one sitting. I’m not the best housewife in the world but I do have other qualities I can contribute to the family.

2. Include the Kids

I include the kids in the housework as much as I can. Instead of seeing it as a hassle (which it really is most of the time — HA!) I look as it as an opportunity to spend quality time with my children and to teach them.

3. Music

Playing my favourite music helps motivate me.

4. Batch cleaning

I read a post on KleenexMums from the Planning Queen about setting a realistic time limits when cleaning in batches. I really like this idea and it works very well for me. The idea is to set myself a 10-15 minute limit and get as much work done as I can in this time. I put on my favourite music and go crazy. It’s surprising how much you can get done in 10 or 15 minutes when you set your mind to it.

5. Clean as you go

I clean as I go. This means I often vacuum only one room at a time, I wipe over the fridge as I walk past and clean the bathroom sink when I brush my teeth. I’ve given up on getting it all done in one sitting.

6. Miscellaneous basket

I keep a dedicated laundry basket handy to keep miscellaneous items I pick up during the day. The kids can then sort out, and pack them away at the end of the day.

7. Compromise

It’s easy to think of issues in black and white. For example: The kids should clean up after themselves. True, but here’s an example: sometimes we are running late (usually my fault, not the children’s) and we all have to drop everything. Things are rarely black and white. My husband is a very relaxed sort of person. I’m not so much. We’ve had to compromise when it comes to managing the house we live in together. I can show love to my husband by not nagging when he leaves his shoes and socks around the house and fails to put his coffee mug in the sink. You know, I can live with that. In turn, my husband really does help me a lot in the house considering how much work he does outside the home. He will see a job to do and get it done and irons all his own clothes. When you live in a home with a lot of other people, you have to compromise. I’ve realised that, although I’m the driver of things at home, it’s not MY home, it’s a family home.

8. Cleaning tools

I’m a Norwex convert. I’m thrilled with the results I get from microfibre cleaning and it means the only cleaning products I buy are these:

* Disinfectant (for toilet lid, buttons etc.)

* Toilet cleaner (for inside the bowl)

* Dishwashing detergent (for cleaning pots and dishwasher tablets)

* Air freshener and candles because I like pretty fragrances. (I use Ambi-Pur Air Effects because I met the man behind it and was so impressed with him. You can can about it here.)

* Gumption

* Clothes washing powder

* Bleach (I rarely use it but I like having it on hand)

It’s wonderful not using harsh chemicals for general housecleaning.

9. Regroup Day

I don’t have a dedicated all day cleaning day but I do use Mondays to regroup myself. I rarely oganise outside events on this day but do some cleaning to set the home up for the week.

10. Finding balance

It is a fact that my home doesn’t function very well when it is dissorgaised. But neither does the home run well when I’m nagging everyone to do things all the time. Finding this balance in the family home is something I’m constantly aware of. The best way to find this balance is to treat my family like a team. We all have something to contribute and we make up for others in the family who might be having a bad day. It’s an ever evolving thing that changes and needs constant readjusting.

In the stage I’m in right now, it’s difficult to get even 1 job finished in a sitting. I don’t like it but I’ve come to accept it and find ways to make my situation work for me. I’m sure soon, I’ll have some time on my own where I can follow through, complete tasks on a regular basis and gain satisfaction from that. Until then, I’ll compromise by replacing this question:

“How can I manage a clean, tidy home?”

with,

“How can I care best for my family in the situation we are in?”

How do you do housework with young children around?

Quote

A lovely Grandma reader left this gorgeous encouragement on my facebook page. I’ve put it here as a reminder to myself:

“Though some of your days may never seem to be sorted enough, from a grandparent to all mums: those littlies grow up, and present you with their littlies, and some of the stuff we fret about, really is not important. Stop for a cuddle and a giggle; a game, a story. The children are little for such a short time frame; but memories of hugs and giggles together last forever.”

– Lorelie

Other Related Posts

Sorry the House is in a Mess

I Didn’t Clean the Kitchen Last Night

My Washing Pile Never Sleeps

My Washing Machine Eats Socks

Organisation posts

Stepping on Lego pieces HURTS! Kneeling on them is even worse! I love Lego but it’s hard to organise. Since I’m away on a road trip, I’ve been fortunate to have some wonderful people guest post for Be A Fun Mum. This post is from Tim, who writes online articles all about organisation in the home.  I asked him to give me 10 top tips for organising children’s toys and here they are.

10 Tips for Organising Children’s Toys

Guest Post by Tim Riley

{Image Credit}

Toys present an organisational nightmare for parents. All around the house, toys create clutter and trip hazards.  Life without an accessible and easy to use toy storage solution makes teaching children to put their toys away almost impossible. The following 10 tips for organising your children’s toys can help you find a organisation system that both easy to maintain and simple to use.

1. Define A Play Area

Toys strewn all over the house present an organisational nightmare. It can be useful to have toys in defined areas in the house. Those with large homes can set aside one room as a play area. Those with smaller residences might consider restricting play to bedrooms, and a corner of the living area. When parents contain the proliferation of toys, they take a giant leap toward organisation and provide for easier cleanup.

2. Limit The Number Of Toys In The Home

Children only need a limited number of toys. Further more, too many toys can easily overwhelm even the largest playroom. To reduce the number of toys in the home, begin by eliminating duplicate toys, broken toys and toys that children do not use.

3. Be Realistic About Size

Children like big riding toys, tents, tunnels and play houses, but storage of these toys can become difficult of your home lacks adequate space for them. When you buy a large toy, choose a model that easily disassembles to save space.

4. Sort ‘n Store

Categorise toys by type (Cars, dolls, puzzles, etc.) These sorts of specific and related toys can be stored together rather than dumped into a huge toy box. Doing this reduces clutter while giving children more options when they decide what to play with.

5. Cycle And Schedule Toys

When dealing with a toy surplus, rotate some of them into the shed or garage. This eases storage issues in your living space, while helps create new experiences when the stored toys re-enter the player areas.

6. Use Toy Shelves

Shelves help children see what toys they have. When storage boxes are used, try labeling them with large words or pictures to help children identify their contents. Shelving gets toys and boxes off the floor and usually is an affordable solution.

7. Fast, Easy Cleanup

With busy schedules, sometimes children don’t have time to get all their toys put back at once. For these occasions, try using a laundry basket or blanket as a way to quickly collect toys for later storage.

8. Keep Some Toys Out Of Reach

Puzzles, models, play bricks and other toys with lots of pieces can create a disaster when children take them out at random intervals. Parents can decide if their children have enough time to get out these complicated objects and help prevent getting the pieces mixed up.

9. Establish Rules

Teach children how many toys they can have out at once. This limits clean up and encourages children to finish one activity before starting a new one.

10. Put Safety First

Toys and storage boxes stacked on top of each other can easily tip over and fall. Find ways to keep toys low and use shelves and cabinets where necessary to keep children safe.

***************************

Throughout history, toys have presented organisational challenges in the home. The 10 tips for organizing your children’s toys can help make playtime manageable and fun.

The Author

Tim Riley has been dealing with vacuum cleaner bags for most of his career and writes reviews on products like Bosch hoover bags for a living.

Need More Inspiration?

Here are some pictures and links that may help.

Emma’s Toys

Read my interview with Emma here: City to Country.

Rachel’s Toys

Read the interview I did with Rachel here: A Room for Everyone.

Pilgrim’s Toys

Read the interview I did with Pilgrim here: Home — Bold and Bright.

Sharron’s Toys

Read my interview with Sharron here.

Nicole’s Toys

Read more about how Nicole (Planning With Kids) organises her children’s toys here: Organising Toys.

Pinterest Organising Toys Board

If you need some inspiration I have a wonderful collection of pictures on my Pinterest Organising Toys Board. Just click here: Organising Toys.

How do you organise toys in your home?