Before I had kids, I thought I was a patient person. I did. And I thought I was organised too. I enjoyed planning and was able to keep the house clean and tidy; I was rarely late. I enjoyed going out and dressing up. I didn’t feel angry, hardly at all! I was poised and in control.
Here I am, pre kids, with my then fiance (now husband) at a dress-up party. All fresh faced.
And then I had kids, four of them, and I turned into a monster! I found out I was horribly (horribly!) impatient, my organisational skills cracked when the 3rd child came along and I am rarely (if ever) on top of things in the house. Plus I lose my cool, a lot. Crazy frustration, anger even.
My kids bring out the worst in me. Every weakness is exposed, pushed, stretched. There it is, right there.
And yet, I can truly say, without hesitation, my children are the best thing that has happened to me. Although they bring out the worst in me, with abundant measures more, they bring out the BEST in me. Absolute best.
I am more gracious.
I’m increasingly tolerant of others and have learned not to judge.
I know the meaning of real love. Incredible, unconditional, steadfast love.
I am braver.
I am wiser.
I am real.
I create more, smile more, see more.
I can improvise. In fact, I’m incredible at it.
I AM more patient. Yes, I can say that now.
Patience anchored in graciousness is truer than one of only self-control.
Amazingly, despite the chaos, I am calmer, and more relaxed.
Because small joys are everywhere.
My kids have been the making of me.
Maturity happens through many areas in life, but I know I wouldn’t have the depth I have now if it wasn’t for my children. When I look back at my former self, I had poise and control — things that made me look good from the outside. Yet children have an incredible way of exposing truth and were (still are!) instrumental in breaking down walls in my life. Walls of facade. Today, after 11 years of parenting, I feel like a mess in so many areas. That’s what you might see from the outside, it’s true. But I’m a beautiful mess.
My kids bring out the worst in me and I’m a better person because of it. Always, always grateful to these little people in my life.