“Mum, can you come lie on my bed for a little while before I go to sleep? I just want to chat for a minute.” It was my 10-year old daughter calling.
I have to admit, I was tired, had just finished putting the children to bed, and I didn’t feel like dragging out bedtime; I was
absolutely desperate looking forward to some quiet moments to myself! However, I talked myself into it thought: this is an opportunity to chat with my pre-teen daughter and I need to capture it.
I climbed up the stairs of her loft bed and lay down on my stomach with my feet resting on the loft stairs.
“What do you want to talk about babe?”
“School isn’t great. I know we have talked about this before but in this new school, I haven’t been able to make many friends.”
“I know beautiful. We’re working on it aren’t we. And we will keep working through it together. You know you are always accepted and loved here at home. We are thinking about some different options for next year if we can get you into another school, considering everything that has been going on at this school.”
I didn’t think it would be a viable option for our family but I thought I would see what my daughter thought about this: “Do you want to be home schooled?”
My daugther looked at me from where she was sitting in the corner of bed, surrounded by stuffed toys. “No. I mean, I think it would be really great to be with you more, but I want to be educated. No offense Mum, but you’re not the greatest teacher.”
I laughed and laughed.
“True. I’m pretty shocking when it comes with helping with homework hey.”
We talked a little more then I climbed down the stairs of her bed and shut the door behind me. The conversation left me with a big smile on my face.
I loved that my daughter felt free to speak truth. It wasn’t an insult because there was no disrespect in her voice when she told me that I wasn’t a very good teacher. It’s a fact I’m quite aware of. I’m more of an inspirer than a teacher.
I was excited because this is one of the values I am striving for in my family: the freedom to love and to be loved for who you are, shortcomings and all.
This is an example of how the post Don’t Try and Be The Mum You’re Not comes into play. I’m always going to be the mum who is better at doing things with my kids and inspiring them, rather than being the patient teacher who can explain things in an easy to understand way. That doesn’t mean I don’t try and excercise patience and learn how to be a better teacher, but I am who I am. And you know what? My kids know this about me, and love me anyway!
I want us to be a family who are not afraid of truth, discussion and different points of view.
I also want my kids to be confident in who they are and have the freedom to express their personality. My daughter is starting to develop her own fashion style and it makes me so happy.
Isn’t it wonderful to be surrounded by people who accept you for who you are, and yet still encourage you to challenge yourself? This is so much of what family means to me. Truth. Truth in love.