My Daughter Insulted Me, And it Made Me Happy

September 26, 2011

“Mum, can you come lie on my bed for a little while before I go to sleep? I just want to chat for a minute.” It was my 10-year old daughter calling.

I have to admit, I was tired, had just finished putting the children to bed, and I didn’t feel like dragging out bedtime; I was absolutely desperate looking forward to some quiet moments to myself! However, I talked myself into it thought: this is an opportunity to chat with my pre-teen daughter and I need to capture it.

I climbed up the stairs of her loft bed and lay down on my stomach with my feet resting on the loft stairs.

loft bed for children

“What do you want to talk about babe?”

“School isn’t great. I know we have talked about this before but in this new school, I haven’t been able to make many friends.”

“I know beautiful. We’re working on it aren’t we. And we will keep working through it together. You know you are always accepted and loved here at home. We are thinking about some different options for next year if we can get you into another school, considering everything that has been going on at this school.”

I didn’t think it would be a viable option for our family but I thought I would see what my daughter thought about this: “Do you want to be home schooled?”

My daugther looked at me from where she was sitting in the corner of bed, surrounded by stuffed toys. “No. I mean, I think it would be really great to be with you more, but I want to be educated. No offense Mum, but you’re not the greatest teacher.”

I laughed and laughed.

“True. I’m pretty shocking when it comes with helping with homework hey.”

She giggled.

We talked a little more then I climbed down the stairs of her bed and shut the door behind me. The conversation left me with a big smile on my face.

I loved that my daughter felt free to speak truth. It wasn’t an insult because there was no disrespect in her voice when she told me that I wasn’t a very good teacher. It’s a fact I’m quite aware of. I’m more of an inspirer than a teacher.

I was excited because this is one of the values I am striving for in my family: the freedom to love and to be loved for who you are, shortcomings and all.

This is an example of how the post Don’t Try and Be The Mum You’re Not comes into play. I’m always going to be the mum who is better at doing things with my kids and inspiring them, rather than being the patient teacher who can explain things in an easy to understand way. That doesn’t mean I don’t try and excercise patience and learn how to be a better teacher, but I am who I am. And you know what? My kids know this about me, and love me anyway!

I want us to be a family who are not afraid of truth, discussion and different points of view.

I also want my kids to be confident in who they are and have the freedom to express their personality. My daughter is starting to develop her own fashion style and it makes me so happy.

{Flossie Style}

flossie style

Isn’t it wonderful to be surrounded by people who accept you for who you are, and yet still encourage you to challenge yourself? This is so much of what family means to me. Truth. Truth in love.

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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

LucyNo Gravatar September 26, 2011 at 5:54 am

You are both gorgeous. And that you can all be yourselves and be honest and be loved is the best gifts ever. xx

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Kelly Be A Fun MumNo Gravatar September 27, 2011 at 7:30 am

Since I met you IRL Lucy, I miss you!

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PennyNo Gravatar September 26, 2011 at 6:42 am

What a beautiful post and what a wonderful relationship you have with your little, or not-so-little girl.

On another note, I want a bed room like that!

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Kelly Be A Fun MumNo Gravatar September 27, 2011 at 7:31 am

It’s a very cool bed. Whenever I climb up I think how much I would have loved a bed like that when I was a child.

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Nicole MeyerNo Gravatar September 26, 2011 at 6:43 am

This bought a tear to my eye…I’m dreading these conversations but the fact there was a light at the end of it made me smile as well. You are raising a great family!!!! You can’t be everythng but you can always be there and thats most important!!!!!

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Kelly Be A Fun MumNo Gravatar September 27, 2011 at 7:32 am

That last line says it all Nicole “You can’t be everythng but you can always be there and thats most important”

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Angelique FelixNo Gravatar September 26, 2011 at 7:01 am

You are a wonderful mom and a inspiration to other parents. Bring it on!

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Kelly Be A Fun MumNo Gravatar September 27, 2011 at 7:33 am

Thank you for the encouragement x

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FernNo Gravatar September 26, 2011 at 7:21 am

What a fabulous conversation to have with your daughter (although I am sorry about her school issues), she sounds very level headed, well done!

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Kelly Be A Fun MumNo Gravatar September 27, 2011 at 7:35 am

Thanks Fern. It’s been a tough year for her but she is doing amazingly. Proud.

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BookChookNo Gravatar September 26, 2011 at 8:05 am

Magical moment, and such a symbol of this gorgeous girl’s honesty and thoughtfulness!

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Kelly Be A Fun MumNo Gravatar September 27, 2011 at 7:35 am

Yes, yes it is.

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BonnieNo Gravatar September 26, 2011 at 8:25 am

It’s encouraging when your hard work to foster certain values pays off in a way and at a time you don’t expect.

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Kelly Be A Fun MumNo Gravatar September 27, 2011 at 7:36 am

Love this comment.

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Nicole WatsonNo Gravatar September 26, 2011 at 9:32 am

What a wonderful mummy moment! Thank you for sharing :) What a beautiful young woman your daughter is becoming.

Nicole xx

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Kelly Be A Fun MumNo Gravatar September 27, 2011 at 7:38 am

She is special. I feel so privileged that she wants to share with me.

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KrisNo Gravatar September 26, 2011 at 7:20 pm

I hope to be able to have talks with my daughter like that one day.

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Kelly Be A Fun MumNo Gravatar September 27, 2011 at 7:41 am

It’s so special when they want to talk to you; it’s a privilege.

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sannahNo Gravatar January 23, 2012 at 3:21 pm

beautiful, just beautiful. very special that your girl feels able to be completely honest with you. xx

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