Lucky You’re Cute

If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest.
It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy’s hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn’t stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a carseat, it must be protested with arched back.
If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.
I am toddler!

— author unknown

Ah yes. So true. The toddler is filled with inexhaustible curiosity, teetering between emotions of sheer delight and utter dispair…all in a few minutes.

At the end of a challenging day, through all the tears and laughter, just one look at a sweet sleeping face and any hardship seems to vanish.

toddler years

Things I’ve found helpful when caring for a Toddler:

1. Children and Coping with Transitions: Help toddlers cope with moving from one transition to another.

2. 5 Ways to Regain Lost Ground with a Young Child: Establishing boundaries.

3. Choose Which Hill to Die On: Choose battles carefully.

4. Little Billies, Toast and the Terrible Twos: Check expectations.

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Kelly loves life at both ends of the spectrum: wearing high heel shoes one day and hiking boots the next; sipping tea out of a pretty cup and slurping hot coffee from a camping mug; challenging herself physically and stopping for quiet unhurried moments to feel the wind on her face. Kelly and her husband Matthew seek to live a fun and adventurous life with their four children and pet bird.

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  1. says

    Absolutely! This is distilled essence of toddler. And you’re so right, we wouldn’t have them any other way. Although that’s not what I told myself when green texta scribbles appeared on my cedar table!

  2. Nicole says

    When did you find time to interview my son? I’m sure these are his rules. Nice to know they are rules in every two year olds house.

  3. says

    Ahh, I’m living it everyday with my 2yo boy. Had a giggle through this and I just read it out loud to my husband. Your little treasure is adorable.

  4. says

    “If it does not open, it must be screamed at.”

    My daughter is still 2 months away from ‘official’ toddlerhood (is that the correct term??), but I can already relate to this poem. I love it! (the screaming, not so much)

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