On Holidays
I’m on holidays! I’m on holidays! I’m on holidays! I won’t be posting for the next couple of weeks. But, I’ll be back. Unless, I jump into the ocean and turn into a mermaid.
My Four. Storms a Comin’
Books are NOT Just for Reading
Books are not just for reading, so my children have taught me. They sometimes grab a book each and run around the house playing the character. So there you go, that’s really getting into a book isn’t it?
Love it.
Love the Moment
You will be familiar with my logo: Love the Moment. I want to elaborate on what ‘Love the Moment’ means to me as a mother.
Often, this is how my conversations go:
“Hi, how are you?”
“Fine, fine. And how are you?”
“Yeah, good thanks.”
“What have you done this week?”
“Um, well, ah, I’ve been REALLY busy but I can’t remember what I’ve achieved.”
Weeks fly by and I have nothing physical to show for it. I sometimes feel disheartened. By loving the little moments, I experience snippets of happiness and joy around me, which in turn, help me to see Motherhood for what it is: a collection of small moments, like pieces of a puzzle, together creating a beautiful masterpiece.
Some of my ‘Love the Moment’ moments:
Walking in my door and enjoying the colours of my girls Karimu bonnets
Seeing my Valentine Monsters on the bookshelf with old books in the background.
Spontaneous hugs
Sipping tea out of pretty cups.
Drinking coffee with my man.
Watching my children experience the wonder of the world.
Hearing the children laugh when Daddy's home.
Wearing flowers in my hair.
When I have a quiet moment to pray. Click the image to read 'The Prayer Book' post.
I make a conscious effort to treasure these moments. I draw on the little treasures when things are tough; when I feel like I’ve achieved nothing; when I feel like a servant and everyone wants a piece of me; on the days I get up like a robot repeating the same thing, over and over again. I draw on the moments and remember it’s all worth while.
Other Bloggers Loving the Moment
Three Ways to Wear the T-Shirt
I’ve put together three different looks to go with the Be A Fun Mum ‘Love the Moment’ t-shirts. Don’t have a t-shirt? Don’t worry, there will be more available soon.
I want to thank my model Emma. Isn’t she beautiful? She is mother to two children aged 2 and 8 months. She’s a fair-dinkum Aussie farmer’s wife and loves the lifestyle. She likes to train her dogs and muster cattle on horseback around looking after her children.
ONE – Keep it Casual
Team the shirt with cute denim shorts and sandals for this casual look.
Hair: Keep the hair loose or up in a ponytail.
Bow by Pretty Things Distract Me
TWO – Spice it Up
As the weather cools down, wear the t-shirt with a black (or denim) jacket and jeans. Add spunky red shoes and a scarf and you’re all set.
Hair: Straighen hair for a sleek finish.
THREE – Simple and Elegant
A white t-shirt with dark denim jeans is classy. Add a silver belt to the mix and you create an elegant look.
Hair: Fix an up-do to create an elongated look. I did Emma’s hair this way. (click for a video tutorial)
I Want A Drink!
No, I’m not having a meltdown; this post is not about the alcoholic kind of beverage. Do you hear, “I WANT A DRINK!” from your children about 1000 times a day and often at the most inconvenient moments? With four children in the house, I’ve come up with a system so everyone can get their own drinks, whenever they want, without any help from me. HALLELEUAH!
I’ve dedicated a section in the fridge to drink bottles of varying sizes. The children help themselves to a drink and when the bottle is empty, they place it in the kitchen sink for me to refill. Even my two-year-old is able to follow this simple process. I’m all for encouraging independence. Do you have a system?
Help Me!
Children with special needs are saying, “Help me!”
I didn’t choose to have children with special needs. Out of my four children, two are average kids, growing and learning. The other two face challenges which inhibit many areas of normal development. God has entrusted these four dear children to me to raise, love and cherish–unconditionally. Each child is different and I endeavour and meet them where they’re at: helping them become who God made them to be, rather than shaping them into who I think they should be.
Below you will find my seven greatest challenges in parenting children with special needs.
1. Being judged: There have been many times when I’ve wanted the floor to swallow me. When people frown at me, or make, “You just need to discipline them,” comments I just think, “Don’t judge me, support me.”
My Story: I had to giggle one day. My son, a textbook child, spent a day in hospital for the insertion of grommets. He didn’t cry and was compliant in every way. The doctors and nurses were flawed at his wonderful behaviour and I received many praises for my ‘incredible’ mothering skills. While this made me feel all warm and fuzzy, I had to laugh. If instead, my daughter with special needs was in hospital, the staff would have thought I was the worst mother on the planet! Yet, I’m the same mother to both children. So yes, having a child with a special needs is a humbling experience; it’s been good for me.
2. Coping: Parenting is extremely challenging sometimes; actually most of the time. It’s also incredibly rewarding. When you are parenting a child with special needs, sometimes getting through the day is your only goal.
My Story: At one point, I was pushed to edge of stress EVERYDAY, without exception. When no strategy worked and I was fearful to go anywhere because of what I had to face, it just wore me down. How to cope? I don’t know the answer to that question. Everyday I prayed to God for strength and patience. I had LOTS of cups of tea. Time out away from the situation can be very helpful too. Having someone understand the situation was one of my greatest releases.
3. Finding help: Keep searching until you find someone to help you. Don’t give up! If you feel uncomfortable with a health professional, find someone else. The key to help is this formula:
My story: Read this post.
4. Being strong: It’s important to be a fighter. I am constantly fighting for my children’s needs. I fight for the environment, the communication and support they need to afford them the opportunity to develop and grow.
My Story: The pediatrician (I recommend seeing a specialist developmental pediatrician) said to me, “You need to become a bossy Mum: fighting for your child, for what they need, and it’s going to be hard sometimes.” He also impressed the importance of prevention (rather than only intervention). Creating a safe environment for children to grow is vital.
5. Support: Support, support and more support.
My story: I’m fortunate to have family and friends who care enough to want to learn about my children’s condition so they can help me in this journey. I feel so blessed.
6. Compassion: When an issue is constant and endless it’s hard to feel compassion.
My story: My daughter would scream hundreds of times per day (no exaggeration). Sometimes for hours. I had gotten to the point where I felt no compassion. Often, when I was out, friends would jump when they heard my child scream (it sounded like her leg was being cut off) and was amazed how ‘calm’ I was. I wasn’t calm. I had shut down. I felt a hot still deadness inside. It’s such an awful feeling. The pediatrician helped me to understand my daughter and feel compassion for her. She was crying out for help, I just didn’t know how to do it. And now I do. I have the skills to help her! And I have; I’ve helped her and I’m so glad.
7. Siblings: There’s a lot of pressure on the siblings of special needs children. The relative challenges affect the entire family. I believe communication is the key.
My story: These are the communication steps I established with my older two children about their little sister. (This system can also be used to talk to teachers etc.)
Code: Flossie (my eldest), Scottie (number two), Cossie (special needs little sister).
Acknowledge: You know what? I know Cossie is difficult and sometimes you get stressed with her. Mummy does too.
Perspective: But we are a family. No matter what! And we always support and stand up for each other.
Relate: We are respectful of you Flossie when you get anxious and distracted. And Scottie, we are understanding when you are emotional. Respecting and helping one another is some of the ways we can show love.
Educate: Cossie has this sort of problem and we can help her by talking to her like this. (I elaborated)
Report: If you have tried to communicate with her and it’s not working, come and see me and Mummy will help. (In many situations, assistance is required.)
Reiterate: We are here to help and love each other. We are a team.
*******************
I feel blessed in my gifts: my children. I’m here for them all; to love them, to cherish them and to help them; in any and every way that I can.
Give the Child Some Tongs!
I’m categorising Simple.Easy.Cheap posts. Look out for the symbol below on the right side column. If you’re looking for an easy activity to do with your child, click on the Simple.Easy.Cheap logo for ideas with materials you will have around the house.
Tongs are great for developing strong hands. I gave plastic tongs to my son and a box of small cars. He then proceeded to pick them all out of the box (and of course he had to try and fit it in his mouth). It was a great exercise.
Story Friday: Wordless
While reading a children’s book, do you pause to ask your child their opinion on what the character is feeling? Are they sad or happy? Surprised or frightened? Angry or confused?
Do you ever allow your child to interpret the pictures into a story? A wordless story is a wonderful way to introduce story telling and empathy to your child, as well as a way to encourage them to interpret the world around them.
Please feel free to print the illustrations. Just click here for the PDF file.
Allow your child to tell you this story. Here are some questions you may like to ask:
* What do you think is happening?
* How is the boy feeling?
* Is the boy inside or outside?
* What is his name?
* What is the boy doing?
* What do you think is going to happen next?
* Is the boy far or near?
* Is the boy sitting or standing?
* Is the boy sad? (try this when the boy is looking happy)
* Is the boy happy? (try asking this when the boy is looking sad)
* Is the boy walking quickly or slowly?
For more great tips on reading to children and current book reviews visit The Book Chook. I’m a huge fan.
My four-year-old’s interpretation:
Image 1: He’s walking. / Image 2: He’s at some stairs. What is he doing?
Image 3: *laughs* He’s running down the stairs. / Image 4: He’s thinking about telling the truth.
Image 5: He’s thinking about his attitude. / Image 6: He is putting his money on the ground.
Image 7: *laughs* He’s surprised. / Image 8: He’s holding some monies.
Image 9: He’s walking slowly. / Image 10: He wants to buy a lollipop.
Image 11: *giggles* He’s a pirate.
Further reading:
Handwriting: Guest Post
Nicole is a privately practicing Occupational Therapist (OT) in Brisbane, Queensland. She is mother to 2 beautiful girls aged two and one. She’s written a guest post for Be a Fun Mum about encouraging your child/ren to write. She has also done a post about reading. More information about Nicole can be found here:
www.nicolegrant.net
www.brissieot.blogspot.com
Foreword by Kelly
Two years ago, I only had a vague idea what an OT did. Since then, I’ve come to fully appreciate the wonderful job they do and want to highlight the role they can have in a child’s life.
As parents we have goals for our children: we want them to able to read and write; we want them to be able to function in society; we want them to develop physically, mentally and emotionally. It’s easy to focus on goals and forget to give a child the skills they need to obtain them. I know because I’ve done it myself.
Since coming into contact with OTs during treatment for my child with special needs, I’ve strived to break goals down into steps for my children so they can gain skills and work their way up from there. While OTs often help children with special needs, any child struggling in a developmental area can be assisted; from gross motor to social skills.
Handwriting by Nicole Grant
With the increased use of electronic communication devices by children from a very young age, there are less opportunities to practice the age old art of handwriting. Rather than draw and colour, children are preferring to play video games and scroll through music on their iPods. School age children are taught to use a computer for most tasks requiring a written response, and handwriting is limited to practice for only a limited time each day. There are no surprises then, that an increasing number of children are struggling with this skill.
Handwriting is a complex task. Take a piece of paper and write your name across it. With this one seemingly simple action, you have recruited your eyes to see the page, your hand and your pen, and guaged the distance between them. You have used both hands to hold the pen and stabilise the paper. You have activated your memory to recall your name and the formation of each letter. You have used higher neurological functions that enabled you to write each letter at precisely the right spot on the page, and form the letters to ensure they are the correct height, direction and spaced evenly apart. There is a lot more involved, but this starts to paint the picture for you.
From an early age, children show an interest in making marks with things they find around the house. Who has experienced lipstick on the walls? Finger smudges on mirrors? Or mashed potato painted across a highchair tray? This form of play is an example of how children first begin to learn the skills that later become more refined and allow the emergence of handwriting. Children should not be discouraged from ‘practicing’ with a variety of media – within reason of course! A smiley face drawn on the carpet in boot polish may not be acceptable, but why not give your kids some chalk and let them draw away on the driveway? If they are old enough, get them to write their name in chalk under their lifesize chalk outline. There are many ways that children can begin to learn handwriting before they first set their eyes on a blue-lined exercise book.
Most children first learn to draw using crayons, pencils or felt pens. It is important to encourage the correct, age-appropriate pencil grasp. The tripod grasp used for handwriting will usually emerge before the age of 7. Prior to this, a cylindrical grip and then a modified tripod grasp will be seen. Show your child the correct grasp by demonstrating on your own pencil. Move their fingers into the correct position and continue to correct their grasp if their fingers move. Pencil grips are helpful later down the track if the tripod grasp is not established, however these should be used as a last resort.
Upon commencing school, children will need to learn handwriting on lined paper using a pencil. As they progress through each year, they will be required to write for longer periods of time, and eventually fill page upon page of neat, correctly formed letters, words and sentences. By this stage, children often start to dislike writing, which is such a shame. It is an important life skill – necessary for filling out forms, writing lists, and how wonderful is it to receive a beautifully written personal letter or note!?
If your child professes to dislike writing, find out why. Does their hand get sore? Do they struggle with spelling? Are they constantly in trouble for being messy writers? Or is it boring? Here are some tips to help with some of these issues:
1. Start with a warm-up.I often use the analogy of footy players warming up before running onto the field to play. Do some hand stretches or play with playdough or lego to warm up the small muscles in the fingers, hand and wrist.
2. Strengthen the hands. Stronger hands may mean a greater tolerance to prolonged writing. Play with toys that offer some resistance e.g playdough or putty. Swing off monkey bars or climb.
3. Practice. There is a saying that ‘practice makes perfect’. Practice using a pencil on lined paper, but also practice in a variety of other ways e.g writing on a vertically placed whiteboard, or draw letters in flour on the bench or sand on the beach. And practice every day.
4. Make it meaningful. Of course writing a story about Kate’s trip to the Zoo is going to be boring if you’re not Kate, and you’ve never been to a zoo. Write a ‘wish list’ of Christmas presents, or write a letter to Grandma on the prettiest paper you can find. If the subject matter is of interest to the child, they are more likely to persist at the task.
5. Get help. Children all develop differently and at their own pace, but if you have concerns, an Occupational Therapist can help identify why your child may be having difficulty with handwriting, and offer strategies to help.
Band-aid Rules
Intrigued? Yes, I have band-aid rules. I’d have no energy if I was to panic every time one of my children fell over. I tend to say, “Up-a-day; you’re alright.” Or to my older children, “Get over it.”
My children are not wimps so I know when they’ve really hurt themselves (well mostly). My eldest daughter is as tough as nails. One day, she was over at her cousins house swimming. Someone smashed her head against the bottom of the pool. She didn’t say anything at the time. After I picked her up and she got in the car, I looked back in the rear-vision mirror and saw blood dripping off her chin onto her towel. She had split her chin open on the pool bottom. We ended up in emergency.
I don’t know if my children’s resilience is because of my parenting attitude or a genetic predisposition. A bit of both I would guess.
So, do you want to know my band-aid rules?
Band-aid Rules
No Blood = No Band-aid
Blood = Band-aid
Simple huh? I can appreciate the placebo effect a band-aid can produce; however, I didn’t want to go down that path. I find kisses work just as well.
Scab-grab
Have you had issues with your child pulling the scab off? This is what my mother used to say to me:
“It’s God’s band-aid (our bodies are wonderfully made with the ability to heal) and so you have to wait until it falls off; until God takes it off.”
I surely didn’t want to mess with God’s band-aid so I left it well alone. 
