Be Proactive NOT Reactive

February 16, 2010

Tricky, tricky. It takes a lot of mental power to be proactive rather than reactive. 

Proactive: Controlling a situation by causing something to happen rather than waiting to respond to it after it happens.

Reactive: Tending to react to a stimulus.

Being proactive rather than reactive means to control a situation rather than letting it control you.

Scenario 1

Toddler spills a cup of milk.

Reactive: Jonny! I TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL!  Now Mummy has to clean it all up.

Proactive: Jonny, oh-well, it was an accident.   Jonny, we should sit down when we are drinking milk so we don’t spill it.  Remember for next time okay?

Scenario 2

Child interrupting while you are talking on the phone or talking to another adult.

Reactive: Jonny, I’m talking; be quiet. Shhhh!

Proactive: Teach your child to come and place a hand softly on your leg or arm and wait to be acknowledged. You can then excuse yourself from the conversation (when the time is right) and address your child.

It takes practice to get into the habit of being proactive.  It’s so much easier just to react to a situation rather than being in control of it.  I’m still working on it.

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

KyleeNo Gravatar February 16, 2010 at 11:23 am

A wonderful reminder…if only i could master this one :-) I’ve still got my P’s on this one, although I have graduated from my L’s so i guess that’s something!

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KyleeNo Gravatar February 16, 2010 at 11:24 am

Love your drawing, you are so talented.

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Rebecca DennyNo Gravatar February 16, 2010 at 11:26 am

I think I passed my L’s. I try so hard not to be reactive…. This article really helps point it out though…

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TrishNo Gravatar February 16, 2010 at 12:52 pm

Very clever ideas Kelly!!! luv it and your illustrations are wonderful u r very talented!

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Nicole CarrNo Gravatar February 16, 2010 at 1:49 pm

very clever, and true too.

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MichelleNo Gravatar February 17, 2010 at 9:28 am

I could do with being more proactive. I’m a fine example of how not to parent atm hence my reason for googling ‘how to be a fun mum’ lol and ending up at your blog!! (which I am really enjoying thank you)

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Sharon McCluskeyNo Gravatar February 28, 2010 at 12:01 pm

Hi Kelly
I have just come across your website while I have been researching how to be proactive rather than reactive for a speech I am giving to a group of Executive Assistants in a couple of weeks. I would like to seek your permission to use your illustration of the cab queue and the big tipper sign to illustrate my point about being reactive.

Kind regards
Sharon McCluskey

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physical therapistNo Gravatar April 27, 2010 at 2:33 pm

nice post. thanks.

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SueNo Gravatar June 27, 2010 at 8:45 am

I am finding myself being more reactive lately, thankyou for reminding me how to be proactive.

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