Yep, first post in the new place is about, wait for it… moving. I may even be an expert in this area. (Have to be good at something right?) This is my 9th move in the last 10 years so I’m going to tell you my tips for moving with children in tow.
Before you move
Order a skip: It has been worth the money every time. Moving is an opportunity to spring clean and ditch anything you don’t really need. Some may have access to a trailer and a man who has time to go to the dump but since I have neither of these things, a skip is a MUST. Another advantage of ordering a rubbish skip is the motivation it provides. Typically, the rubbish skip is on your footpath for a week so you just have to get through things. Just fork out the money; you won’t be sorry.
Buy plastic storage boxes: I like to organise all the children’s toys before I move anywhere. I label clear plastic storage boxes to organise the toys.
Buy a Porta-robe: You can get these special boxes from removalists. Instead of folding (or shoving) clothes in a box, a porta-robe allows you to hang clothes via a bar at the top; wondrous invention. Saves a lot of time on the other end as rehanging clothes is not necessary; and all the time saved on ironing is priceless.
Be ruthless: My rule is this: if I haven’t used it in 2 months it’s not worth keeping. This goes for clothes too. Take a deep breathe and give it away to someone who may use it everyday.
Communication: While it’s important to prepare your child/ren for a move, in my experience, it’s best not to raise the issue too soon as it can cause unnecessary fretting. Two weeks before you move, when things get really busy, start talking about it the transition. If your child is very young, you may find they are usually unsettled and clingy. Don’t expect for this to change until at least a couple of weeks after you settle at the new location. Just know that it will get better and be patient. For older children, moving can be quite traumatic. Reassurance is a little more tricky and behavioural changes tend to last longer. I guess you just have to keep talking about it but I have some tips to minimise the impact on the other end of the move.
Drinks: If you have friends or family coming to help, stock your fridge with different cans of drink. Moving is thirsty work.
After you move
OUT OF THE HOUSE: If possible, have the children minded the first day of moving. For me, it was necessary to have my husband mind the children at a different location and I threw myself into unpacking. This was necessary for few reasons. Firstly, I can get triple the amount done when I have no children around. Secondly, It softens the impact for the children if the house, and especially their rooms, are set up with familiar things.
First: Set up the beds and pack in the clothes. Then, do the kitchen. If that is all you can achieve on the first day, you have done well.
Softening the impact: I invested a lot of time on the first day of packing, setting up the children’s rooms. I wanted them to walk in and feel at home with familiar things around them. To achieve this, I hung their paintings on the wall, saved a few craft pieces, laid out all their special ornaments and made their beds. I also purchased a gift for each child and placed it on their bed. If you have a pre-teen or teenager, I think they would like to set up their own room; however, setting up the basics of the room will give them a place to start.
Words: My eldest daughter was very upset about our move. My heart breaks as I recall her sitting on the front veranda, knees tucked up, tears running down her cheeks as she chewed her fist; she was afraid to even enter the house. While the other children burst inside, excited about exploring, she was frozen. I sat with her on my knee for a while and then these words came to me.
I said, “Do you know what the most important thing is? Love. In the bible (Proverbs 15:17) it says: A simple meal with love is better than a feast where there is hatered. Things are not important, houses are not important; love is.
“Do you have a Mum who loves you?”
She nods.
“Do you have a Dad who loves you?”
Another nod.
“Do you have sisters and a brother who love you?”
“Yes,” she whispers.
Then she says, “But I still feel uncomfortable.”
“And you know what? That’s fine. It will take a while to feel comfortable again but it will happen. We will just take one step at a time – but we do it together. Things – toys and houses, don’t last – but love lasts forever.”
Hand in hand, we walked through the door to her room. I watched a small smile creep up on her face. She saw the gift on her bed and held it close.
“Thank you Mummy.”
Positives: Over the next week we talked about all the positives of our new house: lots of trees, a back yard and quiet street etc. This is a great activity to do with children. Ask this question: What are three things you like best about the new place?
Down time: I go hard – really hard. And after the first day, after I settled the children, I pretty much lost it. I was not only physically exhausted, I felt emotionally fragile. I would spontaneously burst into tears. I felt panicky and nauseous. I couldn’t breathe well. I felt like something was really wrong with me. I could function no longer. Yet today, a week after packing in, I feel calm, happy and excited. I think some downtime after a big event is expected and, when everything feels like too much and you feel like you can’t go on; just know there are happier times ahead.
Celebrate: It’s a good thing to mark the move with a positive event. Our family went out for dinner (to a venue with a playground) to say, “HOORAY, we made it!”
Talking about positives: I really enjoyed taking photos of the favourite parts of my new lodgings and made a list. It was helpful and settling for me.
Inside joys: fretwork.high ceilings.windows.old books.tea cup shelf.copper pot.door knobs.peak on roof. peeling paint.tongue and groove
Outside charm: dunny.indian summer.pine trees.no back neighbours.grape vine.mountain views
External Link
We Play Moving House: I love this post. It has great tips about preparing your child for the move with games. A MUST READ!
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow, you’ve really given me some things to take and remember here – I moved 10 times in 10 years – the last time I moved our eldest was 6 months, so I have never moved with kids – my heart went out to your eldest as I read this. You are such a good mummy, I love the idea of setting their rooms up first and a gift for each.
Cute house!
Such a timely post for me, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom.
Very moving Nell (and no pun intended) and I loved reading this. Love you
Beautiful,
I often get from miss 3, we are just borrowing this house. Someone else will have a turn one day and then we get to have a turn in a new house. I wonder at times what it does to my kids but then I think just like you, its love that is important not the walls.